baby it's cold outside

winter kisses. so pretty.

i've found it

David Nail: The Sound of a Million Dreams
This song could not better fit what I have been trying to say about, "when a song hits you right".

Seger was singing words i could believe in

And Main Street was my street that night

so i called up Samantha and asked her the

chance of us 

runnin out 'neath the moonlight

well, she's not with me now, she can always

be found

when i rewind the radio dial

and like it was then i feel her on my skin

and im back there awhile

so i labor for hours cause i know the power

of a song when a song hits you right

pouring my soul into stories of life

hoping someone'll hear one tonight

maybe my voice will cut through the noise

and stir up an old memory

and out of these piano keys

comes the sound, the sound of a million dreams

my 18th summer i was a cocky up and comer

cranking up "Born to Run"

turned left out the drive with the pistons open wide

and i came back a prodigal son

my spirit was broken, she threw the door open

i love you not, i told you so

when i hear "Mama Tried" i still break down and cry

And pull to the side of the road

so i labor for hours cause i know the power

of a song when a song hits you right

pouring my soul into stories of life

hoping someone'll hear one tonight

maybe my voice will cut through the noise

and stir up an old memory

and out of these piano keys

comes the sound, the sound of a million dreams

so he says

as the story goes..."there is a reason for everything" but really people, really? is there a reason for everything? even as a child one asks "why?" it is human nature to question, to inquire and to push the edge... so, push as you will. 


along the trail of life, one looks for options, closes doors, and opens new windows...but with that comes trials, tribulations successes and answers. usually when the going gets tough, one says... all will work out, or it's the way it is supposed to be...or the casual, "god has a plan". now, this is all wonderful, but what about a thing called fate. you know that creepy kind. the kind where you think, you know what.. i am going to start making decisions, seeing what could happen, and maybe take a little risk. personally, to me it is the opposite of "there is a reason for everything". to me it shows well..this isn't working so let's try something else. the whole the way it's supposed to be..ain't workin'. next up?


now, when you finally make the decision to reach out, make some risks and take some changes.. he says "don't look elsewhere" [let's keep this vague for all intensive purposes]. now..to me, this is creepy. here is why... so, as a person who would rather take the high road, have things run their course and play it safe, it is always nice to have other options, you know see what other shoe may fit, but soon after making this decision, or well.. at least looking that way, one says... welp, don't do that, good things will happen. don't let the words of another push you out, and don't feel like you are not in the right place..


hmm..okay, well thanks for that. so let the confusion continue, and the clock tick. but i'll tell you what, he better be right...everything happens for a reason right? 

that ache

what makes people argue? or what about bicker, you know that nagging kind? what makes people think that they are right and automatically assume that the other is in the wrong? why is it so hard to admit ones fault? or why are there things in a relationship that make you want to go back to when it was a movie? you know, that chick flick kind. the time when you could stay up all night and talk? (does that even happen?) but then again... do we ever not want all of these things until the time? pretty needy if you ask me. sure the dates don't necessarily need the butterflies, and the awkward first kisses can willingly be a thing of the past..

as a woman, one assumes that the male does not feel or think like all of those love songs out there...but then again...the best songs are the ones where it's from a guys point of view. it evokes the "i wonder what he thinks" or "does he feel the same" or in most cases "no way a dude wrote this" [insert judgement here]

i know personally, distance is difficult, but where there is a will there is a way. with that being said, i want the edge, i want the umph, the sparkles and the shimmer. these things are all possible. trust me, i know, as do the lucky ones at one point or another. on the same topic, i love watching those who have umph... i horribly enough compare my life with the other...insert lesson here; never, ever do that. ever.

moving on...anyway, i am thankful for knowing what love is, feeling it and wanting it..but aching for it can be tough. really, aching for it.. the irritable, grumpy kind of ache. trust me, it's no fun. it sparks frustration, anger and jealousy. and well, mom always told me that green isn't my color. at all. but see, its not jealous in a negative way. (and i think i look good in green) its an anxious way, an "i want that" kind of way... so hey, maybe its the holidays, maybe its the mimosas, or welp...maybe its just that.. its the ache. here's to the flying of a few weeks.. because the holidays are better with company, and well.. at the Webster's, a stiff drink.

basket case

lyrics are a funny thing. i think lyrics are something that mean one thing, yet to another mean something else. it is a gift to be able to write something that so many can relate too... regardless of if they reflect on the same level one intended. lyrics are powerful, as is music...but lyrics are something that hit a soul and shake ones sensibility. they are something that can bring tears, or a realization that has otherwise been tough to come to prior. music in itself is something that has sparked passion and societal bracketing for decades. music has been noted prior to the 1800s. i am sure at this time music was just as a release to those who took part as it is today. there are genres for every style and that perfect song for every moment.

i feel like i write a decent amount about the little things... like music, the well..little things, family, love, communication and overall emotion... all good. right? anyway, music as i come back to it is something that in my life is constant. well sorda. sure, my style and likes change, probably even change with those who come in and out of my life...but with that being said i find myself always drawn to lyrics. the soul shattering, gut shaking kind. there are songs for anger, for frustration, for upset and for everything in between...hence why music is something that is constant...emotions are constant. 

i fascinate with the stories that lyrics tell, and how i mix them up to be my own or how i relate. i love the songs that put me back in a moment, a memory...those are the best.

Basket Case - Sara Bareilles

I don't want to talk about it to you

I'm not an open book that you can rifle through

The cold hard truth that you'll see right to

I'm just basket case without you

He's not a magic man or a perfect fit

But had a steady hand and I got used to it

And a glass cage heart and invited me in

And now I'm just a basket case without him

You're begging for the truth

So I'm saying it to you

I've been saving your place

And what good does it do?

Now I'm just a basket case

Now I'm just a basket case

I don't say much and it'll stay that way

You got a steel train touch and I'm just a track you lay

So I'll stay right here underneath you

I'm just a basket case and that what we do

You're begging for the truth

So I'm saying it to you

I've been saving your place

And what good does it do?

Now I'm just a basket case

Won't somebody come on in and tug at my seams?

Oh, send your armies in of robbers and thieves

To steal the state I'm in I don't want it anymore

You're begging for the truth

So I'm saying it to you

I've been saving your place

And what good does it do?

Now I'm just a basket case 

holidays

there is something different, something special about the holidays. its a time where you think about all of things you are thankful for, you think about those you love, and those that have lost. you think about the good, the bad and all that is to come. those that have faltered have a new found hope for the future, and those that have been blessed continue to thank those who got them there. there is something different in the air, different in the eyes of loved ones, and something different about the meaning of love. its amazing that the holidays, the few weeks out of the year are a time where so many things can come to the forefront of ones mind...things that one should be thankful for all year around...but hey a few weeks out of the year is better than nothing.


so we give not to receive, but just to give. we don't expect much...well except for the brats, and we don't dare complain about seeing family... at least not in my house. family is a blessing because not all are lucky to have it, and gifts, well, that shouldn't matter...it never should matter. so this holiday i hope for the best. sure its a little shorter than i'd like because of work..but i'll tell you what, being able to look at the lights, smell the brisk air, and dress with a little bit of a sparkle is nice, no matter who its for...even if its for the one in the mirror. 


the holidays are a different time, so i urge those to go out and take a look around at the lights, drive by the houses you wish you'll live in one day and gawk at the decor, tell those you love them...even if you've told them already, buy a little something for those you care about, and yes, a card counts too. listen to music...loud, and bake a little something sweet, because no time is better than christmas time.

women

something struck me on the way down to south carolina this past week or so (ps. it is still amazing as ever..i'll get there, one day). anyway, women are a different species. women are competitive, driven, difficult, confusing, and usually hungry. not in the physical sense, but the "i want to succeed" sense. with that being said, each woman is incredibly similar in the way they think, they try and think and therefore the way they act. its absolutely hypnotizing to watch..especially as a woman myself. i still judge. but why the struggle...we all want and feel the same way..so what's the big deal after all? 


there is an old, well maybe old saying out there that women dress to impress ...well, other women. its a constant battlefield out there. is she skinnier than i, is she smarter, is she friendlier, or will she be more successful. there are questions like what i will look like when i am older, and what will i have accomplished. is being a mom enough? is climbing the corporate ladder more important? these are all questions that women today, and maybe always have asked themselves...and perhaps their closest girlfriends. there are civil rights movements, and well..there is title IX (look it up)... so again, what is the big deal?

women have a way of confiding in people, they are usually trusting... but not without putting up a guarded front. contradictory if you ask me. the "i don't want to be hurt" mentality is one seen by many...but who are we fooling.. women are usually the one doing the hurting. sorry I'm not sorry boys. 


anyway, i sometimes wonder why we cant all get along, why is there a sense of competition in the work place, or on the field, or hell...even at the salon...women are everywhere, and they usually have a perception all their own about how they themselves are perceived. it is my only hope that women stop saying "oh i don't care what people think"...and well..actually feel that way. because trust me boys, we are kinda crazy... sorry bout it. but with that being said...women are caring, they are literally made different by how they think and react, what they feel and how they handle emotion. 


yes, we are complicated, and well... we will be the best mother and friend we can be..most likely better than you. it is all relevant, and sure we are all individuals...but hell.. if you ask me...we all are the same...some are just a little more nuts than the next. good luck boys. i know, you deserve it...but shhh, don't tell 60% of the worlds population i said that. 

the art

so just after oh let's say 5 minutes of research... i can tell you that there are a shit ton, yes a shit ton of people out there that are chasing that whole "blog about it" mentality. people write about anything and everything. it is absolutely amazing. know what is not amazing? i am one of those people. oops.

anyway, the article below, and the article i'll link at the end pointed out some interesting things to me this evening. blogging can broaden your career, can evoke emotion, passion and understanding on things you otherwise may not have had previously. it can make you think and it can show others how you think. blogs are good. but to many, it is a lifestyle. to me, it is not. duh. 


anyway...there are some out there (like below) that feel as though a blog is a great resume builder. personally, i don't want my boss reading my blog. i mean sure, it can be slightly witty, can show you how i think or speak, and it might even make you want to engage in further conversation on any of the topics discussed...but lets be honest, this whole a resume is "static" whereas a blog is ...well, not... is one thing, but i dont know if i would say... "okay mr...or mrs/miss supervisor, screw my resume, years of experience, and hard work.. take a look at my blog..you'll find more of what you are looking for there." umm no. sorry. i don't buy it. and chances are, they won't either.


now sure, there are ways to show creativity, and perhaps "ideas" about how you many process thoughts, or how you handle situations through out life that are always good to witness, but i don't think that a blog is the best way to put your professional step forward. do you? certainly not mine anyway...hell, i don't even write with capital letters in this thing. don't they teach you that in like...oh idk, 1st grade. oops. 


regardless of all of the professional mumbo jumbo that has been taken in, there were a few key points that i can try and work on moving forward to maybe, oh idk...not be so "static".


1. stay strong
2. be short 
3. have a genuine connection
4. be passionate
5. have one good piece of research


as far as the strong thing... looks to me like you need a beginning middle and end. none of them can suck.
as far as the be short thing... i am short. my blogs aren't. tough luck.
as far as the having a genuine connection... i would say that any connection is a good connection. those that don't connect probably won't read. those that read and don't connect, stop reading.
as far as the being passionate thing... if you have learned anything, know that i am passionate about alot, and chance are...there will be alot more to come. life is sweet, but life is short.
as far as the having one good piece of research. well, look below. and well...look here. (click the here)

blog away

apparently you can blog your way to a better career. sure the current career is great...but when i read that i can do this and have a better career, who wouldn't be curious? thanks to cnn.com and 5 simple things, i can climb my way to the top. chances are, you can too.


1. Career change is easier with a blog


Most people have trouble with career change because they know what they want to do but they can't get a job doing it. A blog allows you to show people your ideas and your investigations in a given field. Make your blog an exploration of the field you want to be in, and sooner than you realize, you will be qualified to be hired in that field. This is not rare. It happens all the time, in a very wide range of fields.


2. You can skip over entry-level job tracks with a blog.


Because a blog focuses on your ideas, rather than your experience, you are more likely to be able to persuade someone to let you skip the bottom rung.
Also, as you are linking and responding to other bloggers in your field, you are building a network of people who know you as someone with a reputation in the field, and they can help you land a job above entry-level.


3. Part-time work is easier to get if you have a blog.


Pew Research reports that most moms would rather work part-time than have a full-time job or be a stay-at-home mom. This means that almost every mom is the U.S. is competing for the jobs that are engaging, well-paying and part-time. How do you stand out in this crowd? A blog is a differentiator when the competition to get the job you want is fierce. You don't need a lot of readers; you just need one reader who is able to hire you and is impressed with what you post.


4. Long-term unemployment can be overcome by blogging.


If you've been out of work for a while, your resume probably has a hole in it, and your network is waning. A blog can solve both problems by showing you as intellectually vibrant and engaged in your field. Your blog is a better calling card than a resume if you have been out of the workforce.


5. Blogging builds a network super fast.


LinkedIn is a great way to display the people in your network. But how do you build that network?
By making real connections with people based on ideas and passions. A blog is the perfect way to meet other people who think like you do and who are in your field. Blogging also allows you to focus your connections on other top performers, since blogging about career topics self-selects for engaged, motivated, ambitious people.
If you want a stable career, and if you want to take charge of where you're going, then you should be blogging. If you already have a blog, here's how to make it better. And if you do not have one,here's a good place to start.

life, scratch that. my life.

thanks to a friend of mine, i have a show that i call, well, an obsession...most like many girls around my age and it is called... Sex and the City. the thing with this show for me isnt so much the sex, or even the city, but its the lifestyle. sure the glitz and the glam of the big apple is great, and the nights out, the clubs and the lofty apartments are even better...but, its more so the bread and the butter of what Carrie, the main character is all about. her writing. her lets call it "blogging" because in today's time, print is unfortunately becoming a thing of the past. she, a young woman is making a living on writing about well.. sex and the city. now, i may not like to write about those two things, but i do however enjoy writing about my thoughts, my impressions, my fears, and my likes. i like to write about my experiences, and even more so my future. so, future...that's a tough one. not everyone can have the lifestyle of the modern day Carrie and get away with writing and living the life that so many would wish too, so we make it work... and i, am making it work...but, could there be more? could there be something out there that i never even once considered? some may think so...

so as i lay in bed, and i pick up the phone a friendly and energetic mom speaks on the other end, oddly enough incredibly enthusiastic about a thought. her thought is this.."sara, you can write you know that? you really can! maybe its something that could be something, you know for me i feel like im telling you, from something or someone else to you that it could be good...idk, im serious!" me; "well thanks, i enjoy it..but lets leave it at that, and i'm glad i can provide a little bit of something to enjoy through out the weeks... lets move on". but um, well, she didn't move on. for some odd reason, it was insisted upon me that i look into writing, yah know because well "it only takes on person" [insert naivety here]...just like it only takes one person to pick up the next country star from a bar in Nashville, or one scout to see a child athlete prodigy play the game of their lifetime.. dreams like that are far and few between [insert negative perception here]. but hey, i promised her this.. i'd write, and well...i'd share and see what happens. perhaps not share with my in her words "GM's or whoever they are called" but share with whoever i may. so; my stories, my thoughts, and even my pressures of what its like on a raft in the middle of the ocean at your twenty somethings... this is a long one so hang tight, if you so choose..if not, see ya! ;)

when i was younger i had a pink diary. it was padded and it had a lock, that looking back you could probably pull it apart with bare hands, but uh.. to me.. that thing was locked up TIGHT with TWO keys. duh...this thing was like a part of my body, and to be honest folks, i still have it... crazy right? it was full of absolutely nothing worth anything, but it does show that i have always gone to writing for some sort of, lets say, outlet. then, as time flew i turned to writing poetry, yep go ahead and judge, i would too. anyway, i have pages and pages of lines of sonnets, and bonnets and honnets or whatever those damn things are called. they were a perfect escape. again, as time grew on i became writing letters. letters to people that would never ever see them.. it was an absolutely therapeutic process through some pretty heavy times and it was by far the best thing that i could have ever called medicine in a time were no medicine would cure the ache. so, college came and it was full of books, and papers.. so writing took a halt, and thesis and essays came to the front. my freshman year, after deciding to go to school for sport and entertainment i had to take an English class. this class was by far one of my favorites, and actually had absolutely nothing to do with what i decided to do with the rest of my life. [crazy to think that i had it all figured out by freshman year right?...or did i?] i was given tasks like; find an ad in a magazine and describe it using adjectives and descriptions that make someone who has never seen the ad before be able to draw it down to the last brush swipe. i was also urged to write about a memory. so in 8 pages i wrote about the passing of a friend with absolute vivid detail. i still have that paper. and now, a few years past i have found another outlet, but only this time...people can respond, share their thoughts and even pass a little judgment of their own. what is nice about it is the fact that this judgment is usually positive, and if it's negative, well...i don’t care, and chances are i'll never know either way.. PERFECT for a perfectionist if you ask me. but then again, you didnt ask.

so this whole thing has been great... i have been asked to write about experiences, what i have learned and who i have met but i feel as though i have done that already. i have talked about PR opportunities, talked about hospital visits, talked about entertainment and the business...but there might be something i am missing? i appreciate the business in which i work, and i am thankful that i have a position that i am sure is desirable to many. i work long hours, and i get paid a, well...i get paid. but, is there something more? is there a way to combine the fun industry and job which i immerse myself in and a, let’s call it a hobby or outlet that i enjoy? i work with a lot of bloggers who review and shoot shows and sometimes i wonder...how do these people make a living? how do hey get started, and how the hell can i do that? it would be like the best of both worlds, but then again.. i am not writing about thoughts or idealistic dreams, instead i am writing about a business, a show, an artist or a song...all great things, but still not quiet what i see fit... so i post the question... what is out there? what could someone in their young twenties who is finding things along the way that they enjoy do to make the best out of the short life that we are given and the blessings that so many have brought attention too... do i insert more patience and see where it goes?, or do i make drastic decisions to send letters and thoughts to journalism outlets across the east coast? now, let’s not be silly... i am no modern day Carrie, something we figured out a good 1,000 words ago or so... so what is next, what is this whole future thing all about?  chances are it’s not a 9-5 job..ever, and its not pulling up the big girl pants and making drastic decisions to run away and live freely..bc uh, i don’t get paid enough to be able to do that.. and well, time will tell all..but, if there something that i can do combine what i love, what people tell me that i am slightly talented in and make a living with it, i am up to the challenge.. or at least the dream.

and hey, without the big apple, the bright lights, and the sexy apartment style living... some things can seem a little more realistic. right? after all, the challenge in one’s life is like a story or blog in itself. it has a beginning where it sets it all up, an ever changing yet constant middle, and an ending, and hopefully a future..

to be continued...as is life.

may justice be served

blogs are a place of opinion, a semi private, also known as public forum of thought. i rarely think i use this blog as a place to appropriate judgement or negative nature. i don't think that i use it as a tool to place blame, or even a place to spark distaste. but, please, if you don't mind me while i discuss a little topic known as the Penn State Scandal. it has been a long time since something in the news has captured and offended me as much as this...disclaimer: the thoughts below are mine alone.

Now, my immediate thoughts are of sympathy for a man and a program that has been built on trust, compliance and loyalty. Joe Paterno is a legacy. People worship this man, and in his old age, this scandal is something that could potentially remove all of his hard work of building such a clean respected program and place it into absolute shambles and in the minds of many an implacably corrupted program. but, of course, after reading the 23 page grand jury report my thoughts are otherwise. this is a man who by law did what he was expected. he after being told of the sick behavior that Jerry Sandsusky (JS) engaged in told his direct supervisor, and left it in the hands of the decision makers of the University...those who did nothing for a week, and neglected to get police, or even University Police involved in what should have been reported immediately. so, after being aware of what has been reported, telling those who are supposed to control the issue, and then going on to coach a football team and lead young student athletes, nothing was done. nothing. meanwhile, his fellow coach, his friend is preying upon children, and those who are in the position of power to change it, turn their backs. so who is responsible now? does he not have the moral obligation, the societal obligation to take things into his own  hands? to put the game aside and concentrate on what has been brought to his attention? does he not, as a man in his position have the power to make a change? i think he did....but, as the story goes, he didn't, and neither did anyone else.

"Never mind the ruins he will leave behind. Paterno has said that if the allegations are true Sandusky then fooled everyone, but he didn't. He didn't fool Paterno because Paterno has known about this since 2002. He was told face-to-face, point blank without ambiguity." By Howard Bryant, ESPN.com

my thoughts and condolences go out to the now young men, who have for years had to hold their pain and anguish, their fear and their confusion inside for so long. if that is not heartbreaking, i dont know what is. chances are they would have been told to keep quiet or pushed aside in the attempt to have their story be heard....until now. they were taken advantage of. they were preyed upon, and they were victimized. they were made to feel that they would be punished to report a thing, and that nothing was wrong at all. JS used his position of power, his idealistic "friendship and role model" persona to engage in sexual activities with not one but so far reported, 8 children. it is even harder to believe that after years, YEARS of silence, and quiet investigation this University, this program is now being scrutinized. This is not about a football game that they will play in front of national television on Saturday, or even about how "Joe Pa" will leave behind a legacy....this is about a man, and 2-3 university officials who did wrong.

"But Penn State president Graham Spanier, athletic director Tim Curley, vice president for business and finance Gary Schultz and coach Joe Paterno should be held to a higher standard. So should The Second Mile, a charity that was founded to help children. Whether or not Sandusky is convicted, each was faced with a critical choice with damning information and chose to protect the program. This is what power has become. More accurately, it is what power has always been, in existence to protect itself.


There is no defense for the number of people in positions of authority who had an opportunity to stop Sandusky and did not."

if by law any of these men are found innocent than i can only hope that justice will be served for their wrong doings, because it is absolutely not fair for those to be taken advantage of in any state; not mental, not emotional, and certainly not physical. this man is a sick individual and should absolutely not be remembered for the national championships that he may have been part of, or the fact that he helped raise up such a well respected program within the NCAA. instead he should be known as a man that is absolutely responsible for ruining the lives of so many. he should be known as a man that is sparking a national controversy due to his lude and obsessive behavior, and he should absolutely be reminded for the remainder of his days on this earth what the severity of his wrong doings have become.

i look forward to seeing how this unravels, as i am sure do many, but when Penn State hits the field on Saturday i can only hope it is not about the game, but it is about those men who have had their lives negatively altered by the decisions of others. i can only hope moving forward that a positive light is shed on all those who are taking the steps to bring justice to men who did nothing to help those in need and let it be an example moving forward that this behavior is not accepted, anywhere...

"Sports might not be as important as law enforcement or religion, but the betrayal of trust is just as deep."

laugh

i couldn't help it... here are 10 things i laughed at today. hopefully you'll do the same...

Ha! C'mon...that was good.

motivation

okay, take your shoes off...now, put your neighbors shoes on... tie the laces, or wrap 'em up tight. feel anything different? (work with me people, its a metaphor) so, do ya? .... probably not, but here is the point; it is always very important to put yourself in other peoples shoes, or if not another persons shoes literally, at least in someone else's mindset. ask yourself, what would i do differently? would i have laughed at another's misfortune or would i have extended my hand to help them up after a fall? what motivates me? what would motivate me if i was in a different situation? what if all of my blessings weren't there to call my own, and instead i was full of hardship after hardship, and lesson after lesson...would i be more humble? or would i just work harder, because after all with hard work comes reward, right? personally, i have found that during the many moments of sara spastic nature, putting myself in another's shoes tends to not only remind me of what is important but it brings me back to earth and in turn motivates me to do better.

i try and think like this sometimes. it isn't always easy, and i'll be the first person to say that i can be rather negative. i usually am the first one that tries to laugh it off or hold a bitter grudge...but, if i was given a different deck of cards, say i was sick like so many,or hungry...and i mean starving, or i was put right back in that hospital room during Christmas two years back with a very unhealthy dad with a different turn out, and an even more scared mom.... would things like this in life motivate me the way they do now? no, because everyone gets up, and gets their kicks from some different. but, it is because of things learned along the way that we each find new reason to take an extra step, or learn a little more. its important to be true to ones self, but remember that there are plenty things in life that are too precious to control, too big to grab hold of. so, in order to deal with whatever comes your way, in whatever shoes you have on i think it is important to have an open mind... and for me, to try and find motivation in the not so obvious.

1. Be Thankful - it can always be worse. always. you could be hungry, you could be sick, you could be homeless, and well, you could not have any shoes at all...
2. You cannot change others, you can only change yourself. you should be positive, and with that others will follow. manage up, and time will tell.
3. Don't give up, its too expensive to quit. hard work does pay off, be proud and be true to you.
4. Even when you think they won't, family will always support you. the good ones anyway.
5. Health should NOT be taken for granted. if you have bad genes, be healthy. life is short.
6. Weather. Rain, Snow, Fall, and Summer, because... God is good, and things so simple are the most beautiful. look around every once in a while... because hell, some can't even see at all. sad right?
7. Others - a healthy desire to be fit, or flattered can only make you feel better if in moderate dose. a healthy you is a better you. a better you is a confident you.
8. Parents. A good marriage, one that is built on love, trust and passion through tribulation.
9. A comfy bed. Yes, a good bed will motivate any stressful day.
10. A good friend. Quality friendship will always motivate you to be a better person, therefore a better friend in return. give and you shall receive. 


Now, put your own shoes back on, but remember to keep the simple things in mind... this is something i urge because it can get a little hectic sometimes. people can be mean, family can be rough, and bosses can be tough. but, if you are thankful, and motivated to do more, do better, and be more kind, good things have to come in time, and you know what.... if they don't, it's okay too..you just need to remember to breathe. take it from me, because hey we all won't be able to breathe forever. "today is a gift, that's why they call it a present."

fairytale

blogs are supposed to be personal, aren't they? well, one would think...but then again it is just simply a place to jot down all of those crazy thoughts one has through out the day or week and chances are, i (meaning me) won't be the only one that sees it. so, here goes nothing. its absolutely no diary with lock and key, but yet i'm oddly okay with throwing it all out there... because after all, there shouldn't be much to hide. life is pretty simple for me... good family, good friends, fun college, good job, twenty somethings, and learning to ride the wave. use this as a little prep for just your average girl, to be a little more of a dreamer, because today... was full of just that. mom and dad, don't get wild, its just a little blog.

okay, i can sit for HOURS, i mean hours searching pinterest, looking at magazines, and talking to friends about anything and everything engagement/proposal/wedding... i guess its that little Cinderella fairy tale thought process every girl has right, who knows? my friend Courtney and i will laugh about things like rings or hair, dresses or bridal parties, and hell even the what or when, or how or who...and well, i love every second of it. it is of course crazy to think about at only (yes only) 23, but don't judge. it is bittersweet to see that people that i went to HS with have recently been engaged or said their vows and are starting a family in an attempt to find their happily ever after... or what about how our parents have already been wed for years at my age...yet may be quick to show concern, all in good manner i'm sure.

now i realize, everyone has a different path; mine is a little something like family, college, job, career, family, and then comes the *idea* of marriage, house, kids and the rest is history i'm sure...all in good time. regardless, everyone has a different timeline, or different plan... so like i said, no judging.. just simply day dreaming...

i love looking at invite ideas, hair styles, DIY projects, and beautiful pictures. i cant help but put myself in those shoes and wonder what it will be like...and sure, call me idealistic, but a girl can dream all she wants about what a wedding day will look like... joe, don't go running just yet ;)

there are more things out there than one even has the budget to actually bring to fruition. There are picture ideas, dress ideas, color ideas, centerpiece ideas, pre wedding ritual ideas, there are blue ideas and new ideas, old and all borrowed ideas but i'll tell ya what, i can't wait to at least attempt to bring my, or our fairy tale to life. and hey, mind as well start researching while there is still no reason too...it is always nice to have a little something to gossip about in the meantime.
gotta love an afternoon of Internet browsing... it can't hurt right?

Pinterest - "Where we met, Where we Married, Where we Live"

wanna be chef

Saturday; more particularly, a Saturday off. so, the to do list today....wake up, laundry, while doing laundry go to Harris Teeter, back to the apartment, then switch over the laundry, then to the gym and then...Scones and Granola! YUM! After that...relax!

Scones: (i like chocolate chip...the mini kind)
1/2 cup whole milk
1 egg
2 cups flour
1/3 cup sugar
2 tsp baking powder
1tsp salt
3/4 cup cold unsalted butter, cut into cubes
1/2 cup mini chocolate chips (or cranberries, or whatever...)

preheat oven to 400. in small bowl beat together milk and 1 egg. in large mixing bowl whisk together flour, sugar, baking powder and salt. using hand pastry blender, add and mix butter until coarse. add wet mixture to dry mixture. stir with wooden spoon until like dough. fold in choc chips. on counter top spread out flour. place dough on flour and flatten to approx 3/4 inch thickness. cut in triangles, place on sprayed pan. bake until slightly golden. enjoy with coffee. coffee is a must. 


next up, autumn granola.. autumn being the key word.

4 c. oats
1 c. almonds (or your favorite nut)
1 tsp. cinnamon
1/4 tsp. nutmeg
pinch of salt
1/2 c. packed light brown sugar
1/2 c. pumpkin puree
1/2 c. unsweetened applesauce
2 tbsp. maple syrup
1 tsp. vanilla extract
1 c. raisins (optional!)

Directions:
1. Pre-heat oven to 325 degrees.
2. Line a baking sheet with aluminum and set aside.
3. In a bowl, mix together oats, nuts, cinnamon, nutmeg, and salt until well combined.
4. In a separate bowl, combine brown sugar, pumpkin, applesauce, maple syrup.
5. Add sugar mixture to dry ingredients and fold until everything is coated.
6. Spread the granola mixture onto the baking sheet. Bake for 25 minutes. Remove from the oven and mix. Bake for another 25 minutes or until the granola is golden brown.
7. Let cool.


Can you tell that def wasn't a recipe i typed up...*thanks ash*

gotta love saturday's off...


and now, shower, eat, and football..yes!

the healthy alternative!

mi favorito!

short and sweet...very very sweet

home for the wedding festivities was full of memories. good ones. first there was the rehearsal, great times, great food and fun had by all... and then there was the wedding day, of course never a dull moment thanks to mother nature, and lastly an absolutely romantic evening filled and followed by fun...some maybe having a little too much ;)...
aside from all that wedding bliss i learned a few things on this weekend that are slightly unrelated, a little bit random, and well..perfectly me. here goes.

1. i dont have enough serotonin in my brain....don't ask.
2. my camera is difficult to use in dark lit areas..alot of blurry photos makes a very frustrated photographer.
3. i love getting dressed up...like really dressed up.
4. i can drive in the snow, and i panic when doing so.
5. i do not like gummy flavored vodka, at all.
6. i have a very handsome boyfriend, especially in a suit.
7. i am surrounded by great family and close family friends.
8. i have the best best friend in the world. be jealous. very jealous.
9. my beds' new sheets are the perfect cure for any bad day
10. i dont like halloween - no news there...although my pumpkin carving skils...legit.

so like i said, fairly random..but a good mix of my thoughts over the past few days.. looking forward to a busy basketball week, (it's baaaackk) and maybe a little cooking. scones for sure again. SO GOOD, and maybe some granola as well... other than that.. gotta find some new ideas.. something not so big, the whole huge casserole thing.. not workin' for me. welp, pictures and thoughts are sure to follow.

adios!

do this, do that

Sara, you need to slow down. Sara, you need to double and triple check your work. Sara, you need to breathe. Sara, you need to not stress. Sara, you need to live a little, ya know have a little more fun. Sara, stop being such a "mom". Sara, you need to do this. Sara, you need to be like that. Sara, everything will work out. Sara... GAH! Give me a a break!

look, my whole life people have been telling me that i need to slow down. i need to stop and take a look around a while instead of rush the gift that is right now, hence the reason it is called the present. they have said that i need to double and then triple check my work, as well as, well, that i need to do better. now, i realize that i have lessons to learn, but all of this to me is frustrating and well to be honest, disheartening. there are a few reasons why;

when you want to set the world on fire, or so the story says, you want to be able to stand up for what you want, ask questions, be confident and well, you want answers. you want to know how to succeed, you want to LEARN how to succeed, and you try to do everything in your power to do so... but it is when doing so that you will find those who will easily misinterpret. and trust me, these people can provide you very big life lessons, as well as some extremely difficult hours, days or even weeks. but, it is all how you handle it right? 


now, it is frustrating because i want to learn, you know, do big things...don't we all? (funny thing is, No, not everyone does...and when you meet these people, you learn a lot about how not to act, about what not to say, and how not to wear your opinion on your sleeve... just a tip.) regardless if you haven't been able to tell, i am ansty, hungry...eager. some may even say confident. trouble is here, i don't see these things as bad things...and you may not think so as well, but truth be told it is all about how you carry it. if too antsy people may think disinterested. if too hungry people may think lazy? and if too eager, people may think "know it all" or arrogant...a few things that are never good.

i think that you will always run into people that will understand how you work, why you do what you do, or understand how you think. those are the people who love you for the little crazy ticks that you may have or for the things that make you, you... these are the people that will keep you sane and undeniably have your back even if you are a little misunderstood. so...trust me, hold on to them...tight. on the other hand you will run into those who will misinterpret your determination, your fire, your eagerness for...lets say, disinterest, toughness, and even arrogance. this is where things get tough...(and slightly upsetting if you ask me, but then again, you didn't ask, therefore i shouldn't have said a thing [insert lesson here])

now, this is where the lessons come into play. i need to learn/am learning to not be as forward, to not ask so many truthful questions (crazy right), and to be as patient as possible, of course all with good measure. i need to learn to swallow a little pride and trust what is best... yes, there are bigger decision makers out there than myself, my supervisors, relatives, or even mentors. however, realizing these things can absolutely be the hard part. but then again, truth be told there has to be something that will make this crazy twenty-somethingness all fall into place. right? [insert lesson here] 


so, (unfortunately for those who are the opposite)...i have to realize to be okay with people who will continue to tell me to Slow Down! because well, i want to be hungry, eager, less antsy and i want to come off confident to strangers, friends and family alike... but then again...it is all in the delivery. [insert lesson here]

on the flip side, all i really want to learn is how to enjoy something like this...

the good ones

this weekend was a good one... for me, the best way to start a weekend has to be leaving early, which is just what i did. sorry, no work means time to play. so after a 4 hour drive west i landed in the star city. (roanoke) 
first night: b-dubs (buffalo wild wings) around 7 pm i was greeted at the door with a big kiss and a much needed hug, as well as a little play with the pup. then, we were off. a perfect casual date night if you ask me; some trivia, some wings, a beer or two and eachother... a perfect friday night. saturday was an early start with a trip to starbucks; which is becoming a little tradition, and then off to pet smart; also a tradition. next up, the mall to do a little shopping. (my favorite, thanks jfd) a perfect saturday that only leads to a perfect saturday night. then, a quick stop to the grocery store to make a. homemade guac b. homemade pigs in a blanket c. buffalo dip  and d. pizza rolls. yummy. so after some time in the kitchen making some much needed snacks and a ride to the center to pick up the boy we were set for a night of lounging and drinks. after the drinks faded a little sara barielles concert dvd was the perfect way to wind down.
sunday is always the day to leave...blah, BUT thankfully today roanoke va had something a little special in store... fall. the colors in south western va are incredible, almost as good as bucks county pa. the pictures you'll see blow will do no justice. there is just something about driving down the highway watching the yellow paint that matching the trees as they pass. pure fall bliss. so, with some country music jams, a gorgeous fall sky and a colorful backdrop i put the pedal to the medal...until next time. 


this weekend, was a good one; my favorite kind. 

a little fall landscape

ah! love it...the perfect start to some app making

a perfect saturday night

pure music

music does different things to different people. some like a good beat, some are suckers for good lyrics. it has the ability to set those who may be high strung into complete free spirit. there are country fans and rock fans and all of the fans in between. there are those that appreciate music, and those that enjoy it.. and of course those that are both. everyone is a fan of something, i am a fan of music, the pure kind.
pure music is slightly difficult to explain in detail but i am going to try and then see where this takes me. last night i went to CNU to see Sara Barielles. AMAZING. here is why; she is pure raw talent. she did not hit a single wrong note (not one), she sings from her head not her chest...and its STRONG (the right kind), she can harmonize (sick), she can play multiple instruments (also sick), and she is a lyrical genius (well, i think so). she is not only random, and absolutely great to watch but to me she is purely musical.
not a Sara fan? there are plenty of other artists out there that have that raw talent; take the foo fighters for example... the guy can play any instrument, sing his brains out, write crazy lyrics as well as put on an incredible show (one that i need to see before i die). he/they are total pure musical talent (well, i think so...and it's my blog so shhh)
because i work in an industry that is based off of entertainment i find myself being a tough critic. when i go to a show, or hell..am even working a show, if i can tear myself away from looking at signage, event staff, exits, dirty floors, crazy lighting, trash cans and whatever else, i look for three important things. these things usually display for me something that is purely musical. 1. the sound. the feeling of the bass in your chest. the sound of each instrument separately yet comes together and blends perfectly 2. the audience. if its sold out, usually that is a good sign, but more importantly the audiences' faces. if people are captivated. if people are not on their cell phones, but yet they are entranced by a crescendo, or jaw dropped at sustaining a note for the indicated time value. their faces will tell it all. being engaged is a big part of this one. and lastly 3. emotion. if you are to the point of tears (don't judge) by a lyric, a voice, a note, a melody or an arrangement that is displayed on stage you are witnessing pure music. these three things are what i look forward too when i go to a concert, or even drive down the highway with volume on full blast.

pure music is one of those things in life that makes me thankful to hear, to listen, and to be moved by something so transparent yet so complex as music. it makes me thankful i can sing (even just a little) and that i can appreciate what pure music is and what it means.



Musical.



family tree

family is good. here is why; you are cut from the same mold which means you are bound to have something in common and in my case... it is a little more than we both may have bargained for. my aunt and i are similar in personality, in tendencies, in character and well, in pretty much all aspects of life. we both get irritable easily, we both work hard and we both love even harder, which i am sure is in thanks to a mom and grandmother alike if you ask me. this woman is one of the special few i look up too, and some one who i thank god is my aunt and not yours. she means well, is funny, and always classy...even if she thinks otherwise. we think similarly, stress alike, and sometimes struggle with god only knows what in the same manner. 


for some one who keeps it all together like myself, as well as my aunt [insert pat on the back here]... we tend to have some...well, lets call them flaws (don't judge). but, if i have realized anything after a phone conversation like ours... it is always good to have someone else on your side of the fence that isn't your mom, your best friend, or even your boyfriend... yet someone who is part of the roots of the tree and who will always, no matter what, be a saving grace in any dark moment, no stress needed that everyone needs even just a little bit of every now and again.


i have learned some very important things tonight; 
1. belly breathing, a must try. 
2. all anxiety comes from negativity. it takes some sort of negative mind set to be as sarcastic and hilarious, well slightly out of line at times as myself... and my aunt. 
3. think positively before going to bed. thank god for everything good in life, or even for simply not providing the bad. everything can be turned into a positive. 
4. remember that you don't have to have the best clothes, the best hair, be the most in shape at the gym, or even have the best attitude, you just have to be you. 
5. there is something bigger 
6. control is state of mind, and you simply can't always have it. 
7. resist any urge to be tough on yourself. accept the good stuff
8. being religious is more than church. it is a mind set, and it is achievable.
9. family is sweeter when its stronger.
10. i have the coolest aunt "this side of the Mississippi" (and yes in order to spell that i sang the M - I - S - S - I - S - S - I - P - P - I song)


pretty good right? i think so too. so with a new found sense of reality, and a hopeful heart one can always try a little harder to make the good things in life a little better, and the bad things in life a little less of a bummer. and if anything, it is always good to know i have got another someone special on my side who might just be as crazy as i am... no pun intended.