thanks to a friend of mine, i have a show that i call, well, an obsession...most like many girls around my age and it is called... Sex and the City. the thing with this show for me isnt so much the sex, or even the city, but its the lifestyle. sure the glitz and the glam of the big apple is great, and the nights out, the clubs and the lofty apartments are even better...but, its more so the bread and the butter of what Carrie, the main character is all about. her writing. her lets call it "blogging" because in today's time, print is unfortunately becoming a thing of the past. she, a young woman is making a living on writing about well.. sex and the city. now, i may not like to write about those two things, but i do however enjoy writing about my thoughts, my impressions, my fears, and my likes. i like to write about my experiences, and even more so my future. so, future...that's a tough one. not everyone can have the lifestyle of the modern day Carrie and get away with writing and living the life that so many would wish too, so we make it work... and i, am making it work...but, could there be more? could there be something out there that i never even once considered? some may think so...
so as i lay in bed, and i pick up the phone a friendly and energetic mom speaks on the other end, oddly enough incredibly enthusiastic about a thought. her thought is this.."sara, you can write you know that? you really can! maybe its something that could be something, you know for me i feel like im telling you, from something or someone else to you that it could be good...idk, im serious!" me; "well thanks, i enjoy it..but lets leave it at that, and i'm glad i can provide a little bit of something to enjoy through out the weeks... lets move on". but um, well, she didn't move on. for some odd reason, it was insisted upon me that i look into writing, yah know because well "it only takes on person" [insert naivety here]...just like it only takes one person to pick up the next country star from a bar in Nashville, or one scout to see a child athlete prodigy play the game of their lifetime.. dreams like that are far and few between [insert negative perception here]. but hey, i promised her this.. i'd write, and well...i'd share and see what happens. perhaps not share with my in her words "GM's or whoever they are called" but share with whoever i may. so; my stories, my thoughts, and even my pressures of what its like on a raft in the middle of the ocean at your twenty somethings... this is a long one so hang tight, if you so choose..if not, see ya! ;)
when i was younger i had a pink diary. it was padded and it had a lock, that looking back you could probably pull it apart with bare hands, but uh.. to me.. that thing was locked up TIGHT with TWO keys. duh...this thing was like a part of my body, and to be honest folks, i still have it... crazy right? it was full of absolutely nothing worth anything, but it does show that i have always gone to writing for some sort of, lets say, outlet. then, as time flew i turned to writing poetry, yep go ahead and judge, i would too. anyway, i have pages and pages of lines of sonnets, and bonnets and honnets or whatever those damn things are called. they were a perfect escape. again, as time grew on i became writing letters. letters to people that would never ever see them.. it was an absolutely therapeutic process through some pretty heavy times and it was by far the best thing that i could have ever called medicine in a time were no medicine would cure the ache. so, college came and it was full of books, and papers.. so writing took a halt, and thesis and essays came to the front. my freshman year, after deciding to go to school for sport and entertainment i had to take an English class. this class was by far one of my favorites, and actually had absolutely nothing to do with what i decided to do with the rest of my life. [crazy to think that i had it all figured out by freshman year right?...or did i?] i was given tasks like; find an ad in a magazine and describe it using adjectives and descriptions that make someone who has never seen the ad before be able to draw it down to the last brush swipe. i was also urged to write about a memory. so in 8 pages i wrote about the passing of a friend with absolute vivid detail. i still have that paper. and now, a few years past i have found another outlet, but only this time...people can respond, share their thoughts and even pass a little judgment of their own. what is nice about it is the fact that this judgment is usually positive, and if it's negative, well...i don’t care, and chances are i'll never know either way.. PERFECT for a perfectionist if you ask me. but then again, you didnt ask.
so this whole thing has been great... i have been asked to write about experiences, what i have learned and who i have met but i feel as though i have done that already. i have talked about PR opportunities, talked about hospital visits, talked about entertainment and the business...but there might be something i am missing? i appreciate the business in which i work, and i am thankful that i have a position that i am sure is desirable to many. i work long hours, and i get paid a, well...i get paid. but, is there something more? is there a way to combine the fun industry and job which i immerse myself in and a, let’s call it a hobby or outlet that i enjoy? i work with a lot of bloggers who review and shoot shows and sometimes i wonder...how do these people make a living? how do hey get started, and how the hell can i do that? it would be like the best of both worlds, but then again.. i am not writing about thoughts or idealistic dreams, instead i am writing about a business, a show, an artist or a song...all great things, but still not quiet what i see fit... so i post the question... what is out there? what could someone in their young twenties who is finding things along the way that they enjoy do to make the best out of the short life that we are given and the blessings that so many have brought attention too... do i insert more patience and see where it goes?, or do i make drastic decisions to send letters and thoughts to journalism outlets across the east coast? now, let’s not be silly... i am no modern day Carrie, something we figured out a good 1,000 words ago or so... so what is next, what is this whole future thing all about? chances are it’s not a 9-5 job..ever, and its not pulling up the big girl pants and making drastic decisions to run away and live freely..bc uh, i don’t get paid enough to be able to do that.. and well, time will tell all..but, if there something that i can do combine what i love, what people tell me that i am slightly talented in and make a living with it, i am up to the challenge.. or at least the dream.
and hey, without the big apple, the bright lights, and the sexy apartment style living... some things can seem a little more realistic. right? after all, the challenge in one’s life is like a story or blog in itself. it has a beginning where it sets it all up, an ever changing yet constant middle, and an ending, and hopefully a future..
to be continued...as is life.
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