well, it involves boxes and paying $1.00 online to the United States Postal Service. it involves dropping off cable boxes and picking up plenty of tape. it involves gas, plenty of red bull and maybe some combos, at least for me it does. it involves paper cuts and even a few bruises on the hips from door propping and car door slamming. i'm gonna assume you've gotten it by now...
Ding! Ding! Ding! yes, i am moving. actually, scratch that, WE are moving... sure, it wouldn't be in Sara fashion if it wasn't as complicated as one of us moves right away (as in...tomorrow) and the other waits a solid 3 months or so however, yes, WE are moving.
So where you ask? Where too now? I'll get to that... but first, let me in the very least try and bury the negativity. For me, that goes something like this;
I get it... I have moved a lot. I have moved to college (oh and for what it's worth, that shouldn't count - and quiet honestly... if my wallet would have allowed it - I would have never moved anywhere else). I have moved to Norfolk. need I discuss the plentiful joys of a first apartment, a first job, a first paycheck? No? okay, good. (ironically though, i miss the heck out of that place) Then there was Tampa - talk about sunshine and beaches... well except the beach was an hour away and the sunshine just proved to be...well, too hot. So, thank God for a best friend and a puppy, making Tampa not all that bad after all. Which finally brings us to Roanoke... the real switch up. the shaken not stirred switch up. so, sure... i've moved but...after it all, i'm okay with it. (i'm okay with it as long as you don't ask me if i'm okay with it when i'm having a melt down about all the moving.)
Through these moves i have discovered a few things. The first being that when i am not in control... i simply lose control. plain and simple. no reading between the lines here. when i am not the one making the plans to move or taping up the boxes, i literally lose my mind. call my crazy all you want, but being in control is a luxury that i intend to try to keep. this for me is actually kind of funny, considering i love the idealistic concept of the "serendipitous" act however it becomes fairly difficult for me to just trust that what is meant to happen, will do just that...
With all of this moving i find myself simply searching for a sense of stability. but that's okay, right? (it better be) i've come to believe that stability isn't just something that makes one feel "comfortable" but yet learning to breath it all in and trust that you're where you should be once you breathe it all out. this takes time... and i'm also okay with that too. stability then becomes a choice (que being in control) and well, i like being in enjoy control. sure, i may not be going about it the easiest way possible, or maybe as fast as other would expect but i do think that i'm doin' alright figuring it out along the way. I think that all of this bouncing around has contributed to who I am today and perhaps a little bit nuts, but thankfully now I am that much more aware of what it's like to hit some bumps and know how to keep the car in drive. and also for what it's worth, i have found that a relationship like mine and joe's speaks volumes about making it through tough conversations, slow and steady timelines and a constantly evolving ideas of what it means to be truly madly in love. ours is not picture perfect, but it is ours and i love it.
Sure, I know that i am not the best back seat driver... i'm not even close to being comfortable with being in the backseat but i do know that with the love and support of friends and family alike, the search for stability within the constantly changing nature of life that it's all going to be just fine. and yes, maybe Charleston SC isn't in the game plan right now, or maybe being the DOM within a big company isn't the best fit, but mark my words, being in control of something that may seem to others as being out of control, isn't easy, but it isn't impossible either. i'd like to think that i am a spitting image of someone who may not have it all figured out at 25, but you better bet it's a real fun ride and it certainly doesn't mean i got off at the wrong exit.
So, what's next? or better yet, where's next? well...Amherst, Massachusetts, that's where. que the "it's so cold!" and the "omg. wow. congrats? but you just moved?!". i'm confident that Amherst will provide a lot of stability, be a little bit more comfortable and will bestow plenty of experiences for the memory bank. i'm pretty excited about settling down in New England for a while, getting a job i love and decorating our first real little home. Amherst may not be our "forever" but it is our "first" and that is pretty damn awesome. i'd like to also think i know a little bit about experiencing things with the ones you love versus solo and I can easily say that I'd much rather do the experiencing with Joe, Henry and Gib by my side and family only a few hours down the road. so sure, it might not look that great to others, and it may be easily disconcerting... but, in an attempt to live and love a lot, i've lost a little control and it's going to be just fine.
oh and i'll take any hunter boots, adorable jackets, vineyard vines sweatshirts or preppy jewelry you'd like to send my way :) helllloooo New England! ;) i may be a southern girl at heart, but getting to experience a college town with a preppy flair for a while i'm sure never hurt anyone.
