innocence and faith

i remember being taught to ride a bike like it was yesterday.
i remember spilling over the handle bars and hitting the curb.
i remember being taught time and how to give change.
i remember sitting on the living room floor with plastic pennies and paper clocks.
i could never get it right...
i remember laying in the snow on my back under the street light as the flakes would hit and melt on my face.
i remember the snow at night and the scattered jackets and winter scarves, hats and gloves trailing up the steps.
i remember sitting on the frame of my bed with an over-sized fan and listening to the distortion in my voice as i would speak into the spin of the blades.
i remember touching each of the medal spokes to remove the dust.
i remember holding my brother as a baby.
i remember opening the door to his room during is naps and just staring at him, silently hoping mom wouldn't notice and he wouldn't wake.

i have a lot of memories. memories of being a child. innocent. wide eyed and naive, the world at my feet. my parents watchful eye never too far behind.

this past weekends horrific events have made those memories more vivid. more special. and i, i am more thankful for each and every one.

they say to pray.  i find that prayer is always the answer and asking for strength and grace is the only question. prayer for me is difficult because i have not seen it answer how or better yet why? however, when tragedy or trials and tribulations show their face, there always seems to be prayer. it is constant.  it is through God, scripture, or faith that we gravitate towards. always. there is something to be said for the power of prayer and the words of the Lord whether it is something that is part of your daily routine or not. for me, i find that faith is something i cherish however, through worldly mindset and living in the "flesh" i find that it is easy to let "faith" or God out of what most end up returning too when they are weak or in need, as i'm fairly certain most Christians do.

so, with that said, may this serve as a reminder to pray as well as give praise, for life is tough and terrible things are everywhere.

no one has the answer and there will be plenty that will have their own. in a world of social media filled posts, tweets, rants, groups and raves,  it is only natural that that would be the case however, through it all.... the theories, the politics, the finger pointing and reasons why... i personally find it important to remember my memories. hold on to them tighter than i would have before. remember the things i can praise God for. the memories that those parents and i know all parents have and will always cherish of their children.

so remember the innocent questions, the lessons taught and more importantly the lessons learned. the world can be an evil place, as it has shown it's face in its darkest form...but, through it all...there will be beautiful memories and things to be forever thankful for. may those families find grace in the most difficult of days. i know that there is not a single parent, or child that does not share in the sorrow that they will continue to endure and may prayer, and praise for everything beautiful be a constant for each and every one of us.

i could do better

sometimes i think.... i could do better. i could work harder, i could laugh more and i could absolutely at least think that a smile won't kill me. [insert thought: smile god dammit sara! would it kill ya?]

the boy will actually point and laugh and say "i told ya so", but whatever... here goes nothin' (guess it's good to have a positive soul by your side? thanks for that.)

sometimes i struggle, okay, i struggle a lot with the daily grind of up, in, out and then pushing repeat. but hey, that's life right?

no. not right.

life is what you make it and to be honest, i haven't been making it all that great. honestly, i'd be lost with out my best friend a few short miles away and i find myself not wanting to be short or snippy or negative when talking about that "daily grind"...however, is this it? is this what it's all about? waiting for the weekend seems like a normal thing..but hey, whatever happened to that bliss of the American dream? its kind of romantic to think about actually. ya know, like an old black and white picture with people dressed in suites and working with their hands in the streets all the while enjoying every second just so provide for the ones they love.

obviously enough, life is pretty different now and it's easy to get stuck in the waterwheel. recently i am finding it important to try a little more, even if i think i've had it up to ears. so yea, he's right... be a mentor, act the way you're responsible for and IF all else fails... "just fuck with em', ya know? laugh at it and most importantly...enjoy it!"

i have a lot to learn and this i absolutely know is true... so, may this serve as a simple reminder to smile, listen and get up and walk around...

oh ooh ooh! here are some things i am loving right now...
(i like this idea, gonna do this for a while i think...change up!)

Grace Potter & The Nocturnals - Stars (seriously, this song is sick...listen!)
Winter Berry Hand Lotion - Williams-Sonoma
Cracker Barrel's Hashbrown Casserole 
Pillsbury Sugar Cookies (with the shapes!)
Justin Bieber - Yep.

home for the holidays

there is something special about being home for the holidays. i'm not sure if it is the decorations, the nostalgia, the family or just the season. Sure, it's not NYC or Chicago...but it does have one hell of an affinity for being quite quaint. and that, is just as good. (well...almost as good!)

everyone has a sense of connection to the place that they grew up, however as i get older i find that mine is one that is a little difficult to describe. I will though at least try.

as a bratty teenager i'm sure that i wasn't fond of the family parties, the post dinner clean ups or just the buzz that is Christmas time. Now, not the case. I find myself reflecting (yes, reflecting) a lot about growing up, growing older, moving away and then eventually coming home. coming home to what made me, well...me. coming home to the friends that i grew up with, and the family that i'd be lost without.

now, with that being said, i think that moving away is a necessary evil. i wouldn't be a proud gamecock alum, know how to kill a cockroach, OR be able to hang curtains or fix a tire myself if i didn't. so... moral of the story i think is that lessons learned along the way make coming home that much sweeter. i am thankful for the experiences along the way and am also grateful that i get to come home for the holidays, something a lot of people out there unfortunately don't get to do. so enjoy the holidays... truly the greatest time of the year.

Some favorites...

by far the best holiday season i've ever had... NYC trip with my kappa krew and bests.
when i think holidays, i think  these girls. no matter what.

something sexy about the snow... great picture.

i WILL have one, and i WILL do this...obsessed!

the only place with warm weather that i'd love to be for the holidays.. Charleston SC. I have photographed this house myself before actually... it's fairly "classic" Charleston. also obsessed!