every two months

i look forward to a day or two every one or two months. every one or two months, if i schedule accordingly i am blessed with a vacation day or in this past weekend's case, 2. without vacation i am fairly certain that any sane person would absolutely lose their mind. however, i am a positively sure that those who like myself NEED those vacation days to see those that they actually can't any other day of the week are a little more thankful when the "check in for your flight" email alert comes in and therefore a little more disappointed when the days off quickly vanish.

good thing is, this next go around isn't a two month marathon, just a three week sprint.
bad thing is, the past weekend is over...

leaving something you love is always hard. maybe it's your mom or your dad, or maybe it's your grandmother or  even your dog. for me it is all of those things and more. see, one would figure i would be good at packing up and shipping out. one would figure i am a pro at saying goodbye. well, only part of that is true. sure, i may pack like a champ, but i'll tell ya what... the whole goodbye thing just does not look good on me. i have found that saying goodbye isn't hard because the day or weekend is over, but yet it is hard because you need to say goodbye to so much more than just a few days. it is saying goodbye to date nights, to kisses on the forehead, to homemade dinners for two, to hot tea before bed, to not waking up alone in the middle of the night, to fun weekend excursions and of course cuddling company and comforting conversation on lazy work nights... it is for me, saying goodbye to opportunity and ultimately saying hello to being back on your own...24 -7.

if you have lived alone you know that it is not easy. sure, maybe having a roommate is not your style, so you'd prefer it, but that is not really what i'm talking about. i'm talking about living thousands of miles away from your future and even farther away from your foundation. (thank god for the worlds best friend only 2 hours away) all of which for me i have finally found are the biggest part of actually feeling like yourself in this crazy mixed up world. now that, is the hard part.

sure, i have learned a lot and have grown up even more, but i can't wait until i in the very least, get to do all of this living and learning with loved ones by my side. and now like so many before...we wait. we wait for the next circled day off on the master calendar and for the plan in place to fall into just that.

hopefully that place, with a little luck will finally be a home...

...patience was never my thing, however weekends like pictured below absolutely are!