i made dinner... good ole sweet potato tots and some popcorn chicken. anyway, after eating and carelessly throwing the trash away i sat down on my couch. no tv. no lights. one candle. i just sat there. i leaned back, and looked straight ahead and took a deep breath (my sign told me too) and well..i was calm. now, a side note... i had a mint choc chip ice cream sandwich in my hand, and yes, it's low fat. but regardless, i was calm.
this means a lot for some one who for the past week has been nuts regarding work. big event, big media and big pressure... so on a Thursday evening with one more day ahead it was nice to take a breath and well, breathe.
it has always been interesting to me the minds sense of stream of consciousness. how, really, we have no control over what we think, how we think it, and when we are thinking. sure, the point is to be able to control how we act on those thoughts...but it is things like this that tend to lead to the opposite of being calm. its either you have your mind going this way, your heart another or your head up and your stomach down. it is a fact of life that your brain will continue to work long after you've slipped into a dream or a more "calm" being. tiring right? i think so too.
but, being calm is more than a state of mind. it's a physical state as well. hearing yourself think tends to lead to anxiety. but for me, just then...there was none. and that, well that was a first.
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