"not all those who wander are lost"

Serendipity... maybe this is just that. Maybe this is something that will become something bigger... you know the "big one", the "life changer"... (yea yea, as if i haven't had enough of those.) Oh, right... sorry... you're probably asking what is the "this"? what is the thing that may cause for another shake up on the shaken never stirred life that I lead?

well, it involves boxes and paying $1.00 online to the United States Postal Service. it involves dropping off cable boxes and picking up plenty of tape. it involves gas, plenty of red bull and maybe some combos, at least for me it does. it involves paper cuts and even a few bruises on the hips from door propping and car door slamming. i'm gonna assume you've gotten it by now...

Ding! Ding! Ding! yes, i am moving. actually, scratch that, WE are moving... sure, it wouldn't be in Sara fashion if it wasn't as complicated as one of us moves right away (as in...tomorrow) and the other waits a solid 3 months or so however, yes, WE are moving.

So where you ask? Where too now? I'll get to that... but first, let me in the very least try and bury the negativity. For me, that goes something like this;

I get it... I have moved a lot. I have moved to college (oh and for what it's worth, that shouldn't count - and quiet honestly... if my wallet would have allowed it - I would have never moved anywhere else). I have moved to Norfolk. need I discuss the plentiful joys of a first apartment, a first job, a first paycheck? No? okay, good. (ironically though, i miss the heck out of that place) Then there was Tampa - talk about sunshine and beaches... well except the beach was an hour away and the sunshine just proved to be...well, too hot. So, thank God for a best friend and a puppy, making Tampa not all that bad after all. Which finally brings us to Roanoke... the real switch up. the shaken not stirred switch up. so, sure... i've moved but...after it all, i'm okay with it.  (i'm okay with it as long as you don't ask me if i'm okay with it when i'm having a melt down about all the moving.)

Through these moves i have discovered a few things. The first being that when i am not in control... i simply lose control. plain and simple. no reading between the lines here. when i am not the one making the plans to move or taping up the boxes, i literally lose my mind. call my crazy all you want, but being in control is a luxury that i intend to try to keep. this for me is actually kind of funny, considering i love the idealistic concept of the "serendipitous" act however it becomes fairly difficult for me to just trust that what is meant to happen, will do just that...

With all of this moving i find myself simply searching for a sense of stability. but that's okay, right? (it better be) i've come to believe that stability isn't just something that makes one feel "comfortable" but yet learning to breath it all in and trust that you're where you should be once you breathe it all out. this takes time... and i'm also okay with that too. stability then becomes a choice (que being in control) and well, i like being in enjoy control. sure, i may not be going about it the easiest way possible, or maybe as fast as other would expect but i do think that i'm doin' alright figuring it out along the way. I think that all of this bouncing around has contributed to who I am today and perhaps a little bit nuts, but thankfully now I am that much more aware of what it's like to hit some bumps and know how to keep the car in drive. and also for what it's worth, i have found that a relationship like mine and joe's speaks volumes about making it through tough conversations, slow and steady timelines and a constantly evolving ideas of what it means to be truly madly in love. ours is not picture perfect, but it is ours and i love it.

Sure, I know that i am not the best back seat driver... i'm not even close to being comfortable with being in the backseat but i do know that with the love and support of friends and family alike, the search for stability within the constantly changing nature of life that it's all going to be just fine. and yes, maybe Charleston SC isn't in the game plan right now, or maybe being the DOM within a big company isn't the best fit, but mark my words, being in control of something that may seem to others as being out of control, isn't easy, but it isn't impossible either. i'd like to think that i am a spitting image of someone who may not have it all figured out at 25, but you better bet it's a real fun ride and it certainly doesn't mean i got off at the wrong exit.

So, what's next? or better yet, where's next? well...Amherst, Massachusetts, that's where. que the "it's so cold!" and the "omg. wow. congrats? but you just moved?!".  i'm confident that Amherst will provide a lot of stability, be a little bit more comfortable and will bestow plenty of experiences for the memory bank. i'm pretty excited about settling down in New England for a while, getting a job i love and decorating our first real little home. Amherst may not be our "forever" but it is our "first" and that is pretty damn awesome. i'd like to also think i know a little bit about experiencing things with the ones you love versus solo and I can easily say that I'd much rather do the experiencing with Joe, Henry and Gib by my side and family only a few hours down the road. so sure, it might not look that great to others, and it may be easily disconcerting... but, in an attempt to live and love a lot, i've lost a little control and it's going to be just fine.

oh and i'll take any hunter boots, adorable jackets, vineyard vines sweatshirts or preppy jewelry you'd like to send my way :) helllloooo New England! ;) i may be a southern girl at heart, but getting to experience a college town with a preppy flair for a while i'm sure never hurt anyone.

Goodnight Prayers

Every night before I fall asleep I try and say my goodnight prayers. They usually go in the order of Praise, Repent, Anyone, You (PRAY). A little trick an old friend taught me years ago in an effort to provide some direction about "how to pray". Now, years later...I try every night to p.r.a.y. however it's from days like today and from coffee at 5 PM that never allows a mind to settle and a prayer to finish silently leading to a soundless sleep. So, now... I sit. Snores up the hall, lights on in the bathroom and a fire smoldering as it fades...

If I were able to actually say my good night prayers tonight...they'd go something like this;

I praise God for the blessings I have, the family that keeps me sane and the health of myself and the loved ones I cherish. I'm thankful that Pop is home from the hospital and that I've had a blessed weekend thus far with friends and family. I praise God for safe travels for my Dad no matter where he goes and a strong willed Mom through tough times and such positive vibes a brother could ever provide. I'd then pray for forgiveness for being slightly too judgmental, stressed out and negative. I'd ask that I have more patience and take more deep breaths. Then, I'd pray long and hard for my Nan and family dealing with the everyday loss of a Husband, Dad and grandfather. I'd pray for smiles and safety for a best friend hundreds of miles away and for the health and happiness of family and friends alike, no matter where they are. Then, last but not least I'd pray for a safe rest of the weekend, a smooth drive home and an even better week ahead. I'd finish with an Amen and hopefully drift to sleep.

However, like I said before...coffee too late, good music and loud firecrackers next door make that a little tough so...here I sit and reflect just a little bit on what's behind me, what I have and what is  ahead. Life can be a tricky place and absolutely full of headaches and heartache but I can only hope that each good nights prayers bring positive energy and plenty of blessings to me and mine all the sleepless nights ahead.

a shift

there are plenty of shifts that take place in one's life. like the shift from being a little girl that turns into a bratty teenager, the shift from spending 4 years in college to suddenly being on your own trying to pay the bills, or the "simple" shift from one job to the other. there are the shifts in life that happen slowly and expectantly however, there are other shifts in life that happen suddenly. they happen at a specific moment.

they rocked you to sleep, they dressed you for school in the mornings and helped with homework at night. they visited colleges with you or bought you your first car or even walked you down the aisle. then, in one day, hour or even a moment... a shift occurs. i find that it is the specific moment in time where the child, the daughter or even the son becomes the caretaker; the "parent" and carries the responsibility of providing security, uninhibited love and unwavering support. the kid becomes the one looking for the monsters under the bed for those that did just the same for them years and years ago.

a role reversal - a shift.

i remember my grandmother telling me about how she would brush her moms hair, and i have listened to how my mom would give my grandfather warm soup and crackers for dinner. that is the shift.

it is when the realization is had that your mom or dad are not going to be the ones to pick you up after you fall down on the driveway and kiss away the boo boo from a scraped knee. it is that first instance when you become the one to make it better for those that once made everything better for you... a shift in the role, now the caretaker...now the one in the drivers seat.

life is short however, no matter how or when the shift happens, i am confident that there will be someone to provide the comforting scratch on the back or kiss on the top of the head to let the other know everything is going to be okay, a single promise but a strong one at that.  

more importantly, i commend those who have experienced this shift and who have not only lived with it but lived through it. i commend those that find humor in life's shifts and can look to the heavens and praise every single little blessing along the way. 

sure, some shifts are harder than others but those that have been taught well, those that have had the best role models along all of their own life events...these will be the ones that handle the role reversals ahead with the most grace and patience.

so, thank you to those who have taught their own to be the best they can be...for one day, they'll make theirs feel safe and sound and surround them with shatterproof love, because after all... they are now the ones that in just a moments time, need it the most.

 

It's monday already?

Thankfully I don't have to complain much about the weather anymore. I don't have to walk out of my apartment to wet air and foggy glasses. I don't miss the days where sitting at the pool became almost a chore and any trip in a car was pretty miserable until about 10 minutes in when the AC finally started to work. Thankfully, it's almost fall in VA and that is a pretty sweet thing.

This weekend may not have really felt like fall with an 85 degree average but that's nothing some mums, hay and driving with the windows down can't fix (especially in a shiny new car). This weekend was one for the books. Both relaxing and full of laughs. Next weekend will deliver just the same I'm sure with a visit from the Dolans.. woop woop!

Just one word of advice, don't see gravity in 3D if you're easily made nauseous. Thank me later.

 

 

 

Happy Monday!

Since August...

If I'm looking at it right, it's been since August that I've even logged in. it's been since August I've even thought about pulling up a blank page and typing my mindless thoughts away. it's been since August that I've jumped. it's been since august and well, it feels great.

Since August I have;

• Been on a Charleston blitz trip filled with a simply perfect "The Notebook" tour, Hootie and the Blowfish x2, met up with friends and felt sweet southern breezes
• Moved to VA
• Finalized décor for the new apartment
• Oh yeah, moved into a new apartment
• Worn jeans and a sweatshirt for the first time in probably a year
• Accepted a job offer
• Visited family in PA for a weekend of love and laughter
• Started a new job
• Bought a new car

Now, that may not seem like a lot (uh.. just kidding) but this weekend will be filled with Gamecocks, relaxing and cruising with the windows down and it couldn't be more enticing. Gone are the weekends where Friday came and solo nights at the apartment would ruin anyone's mood. Thankfully gone are the Mondays where I needed to just get up and do it all over again, only looking forward to a few months down the road for the next trip "home" or down to Ft. Meyers , or maybe a visitor to brighten my spirits.

Since August I have closed my eyes, taken a leap of faith and gotten completely out of my comfort zone. Since August I have realized that family, friends and the love in between will get you through any scary or difficult time all the while teach you how to handle it with grace.

Since August, I've felt like a little bit more "me" and it feels great.

25 meets crazy meets opportunity

It hasn't been easy, it absolutely hasn't been easy. However, the decisions I make are mine and they are passionate in every meaning of the word.

I could find pages and pages of quotes that speak about living your life, being happy, takings risks and loving the life you make. They are mostly about happiness and how challenges make you stronger or not to have regrets. for some one who absolutely loves quotes, my recent decisions can not be made because a quote on a block of wood, a sign or on a screen says it's going to be okay. there is not a quote in the world that can look at you back in the mirror and tell you that you made a mistake, that you are taking a risk that is too big or that you are absolutely crazy... in every meaning of the word.

I am 25 and in two weeks I won't have an office to hang my diploma in. I'm 25 and may be not where I thought I'd be at this moment but what I do know is that "life is what happens when you're trying to make a living" and that is one quote that could not be more true. I am 25 and surrounded by support... support that I never thought would be there even if I planned it to be that way. I am 25 and opportunity is at my door. I am 25 making a life AND a living and for me, that is what after 25 years, I have learned is most important.

When I think about that word "opportunity" I think about it in the professional and personal definition. Professionally, I know that my skills will lead me to doors that I am fully capable of opening - a challenge that I am willing to accept.  I know that hard work, perseverance and support will open the doors I want badly enough. Confidence is key. Personally I think about being able to drive home to see family in an afternoon, literally 1 afternoon. I think about seeing my Dad's gigs, attending family parties, weekends at the mountains and beach excursions. I think about attending Carolina football games or making snacks for the road games while sitting on the couch with company (an actual human!). I think about sitting on a porch, in the fall, with coffee and seeing the boy on the other end of the table and thinking..."finally". It makes my heart light and my shoulders even lighter, and for me that is something I haven't felt in a very very long time. 

Opportunity is at my door and I am staring the challenge in the face. Opportunity is a word most commonly used by optimists, considering the origin. I am not an optimist. I am a realist and some my even say a pessimist but at this time in my life, at 25 years young... i have never seen opportunity like this.

I think I agree, maybe?

"Follow your passion is bad career advice" - Huffington Post

Interesting read - CLICK HERE

I have always been a go-getter if you will. the kind of person that likes to be challenged and then succeed. i mean, who doesn't? i wouldn't say that i settle or that i am content with just going through the motions. i am not the kind of person that is professionally fulfilled living in my small town, having a small job and leading a "simple" life. i don't think i really have ever been that way. i do know that i want my cake and i'd like to eat it too. but, when you think about passion or happiness or you think abut what makes you want to enjoy your life to the fullest...following your passion might seem like a good idea.... until now. 

i read this article last night and it takes the wondrous spirit every young twenty-something has and questions the motive. unfortunately, i think i agree with it? what about you?

"Year after year, you perform work that makes full use of your skills and challenges you to develop new ones. Your work not only interests you, it gives you a sense of meaning. You enjoy opportunities for learning and development. You work with people who energize you. You are confident that your skills and competencies make you valuable and marketable and that you can access opportunities through your network. You are able to fit your work together with the other things in your life that are important to you, like family, friends, and leisure."

this article begs the question, "Is it better to discover your passion, or develop it?" and like i mentioned, i seem to think the latter. 

it can be "easy" to want to pack up, pick up and move on in search for what you are passionate about. it could be photography, it could be traveling, it could be the arts or even science...all things that people so carelessly in a moments notice can make big life decisions in an attempt to obtain. what makes this idea even more challenging is witnessing people who have followed "their passion" and don't actually work a day in their lives (or their new lives) because they love their job that much. you know the kind... the photographers, the mom bloggers or the artists that can actually make a living (a comfortable one at that, doing what they feel they are set on this earth to do) I'm fairly certain Confucius once said something along those lines.

"Instead of focusing on passion, look deeply at what energizes you, what you find rewarding, what you're good at and what comes to you easily. Valcour advises examining your high and low points at work, and identifying the times that you felt more energized, engaged and fulfilled -- and why you felt this way."

i think being self aware in situations like these are important for discovering what makes you happy and fulfilled or simply content...therefore passionate about life, not just a profession. everyone has dreams, or at least they should, but it might not always be the right career move to chase them if you could be passionate about what you have in front of you. 

now, if you've tried to engage with your surroundings and develop your passion, and still are in search for something more then it might be time to discover something else.

like i said, i think i agree, maybe?