the people you meet and the places you go

Oh the places you'll go by Dr. Suess...the classic graduation gift wrapped up with a crisp $25 dollar bill intended for "books" (that however, would surely to go towards a few cases of beer or a fancy bottle of vodka and mixers as soon as the parents drop you off) hell, i think I got that book too - not too sure where it is now, but when i sit 4 years removed from college - that book is actually a lot more relate-able. I've been some pretty great places however I've met some much greater people.

College is a life changer. it forces you to meet people. to socialize and to get over whatever image you and others had of you in years prior. College literally is the chance to start over. for me - i fell in love. i fell in love with my school, my friends, my city and everything that makes you bleed garnet and black. it was the perfect transition into the other places i would go and the other people i would meet along the way. i actually think because of my love affair with Carolina, it's a part of me and people that I meet now, appreciate that. they get a little glimpse into what makes me happy and who i've matured into because of the places I've come from.

when it comes to the people i've met along the way, i would without a doubt not be who i am today without the friends i've made over the years. relationships and friendships alike are such a special thing and as i get older i tend to cherish them much more. sure, when i was a senior in college i wanted to over dramatize every friendship i made. i can't count the number of -"we'll be friends forever" conversations, or the number of late night drives i made in that town in fear that i'd lose a lot of what i fell in love with over the course of four years. the true friendships i've made are special. sure, they are separated by plenty of miles for the most part but they are only a phone call, a snapchat, a text or a piece snail mail away - and i love that. the best friend i have from home who probably knows me better than most is unlike any other friendship i have. what could be more special about that? the girls i have from Kappa, the guys that i can still laugh with whenever a reunion occurs or the girlfriends i have who literally keep me sane with our phone catch up sessions on the regular are such blessings and they are each so different in their own respect. during my time here in roanoke a friend of mine has taught me so much about positive attitude that it's actually contagious. literally - i couldn't count the number of times that i have come home from work annoyed by his happy-go-lucky outlook on life. (i'm terrible haha) now, as i pack up to leave... it's become an inspiration. through experiences in his own life he has made it a mission to live positively and through some great insight and even greater laughs along the way, i've learned to appreciate Roanoke a little bit more due to his reminder to live life with the mindset that positive thinking = positive results. as a matter of fact - the Civic Center will be hosting a positive thought a day for the next thirty weeks for the thousands of people that drive by. Today, although simple it read "be kind to animals". it may not mean much, but it is a positive thought and it will certainly evoke at least a little "happy" in those that drive by and are lucky enough to catch it on the rotation. thankfully, today...i did. so, for a realist like me, a positive attitude and a inspiring friendship is certainly a blessing to be able to take with me in the places i'll go.

people you meet through out your time spent in different places teach you different things about yourself that you otherwise probably wouldn't have figured out on your own. they force you to ask difficult questions and make changes....or not. they are perfect sounding boards for the things you may have going on in your own head and can usually provide the voice of reason that you leaned on them for in the first place.  some are forever friends, and some are just for the now but that's okay too. if they have made you feel anything, they have taught you something ...and that's pretty damn great.

home is where your loved ones are

home really is where your loved ones are. it is where there are hugs at the front door, lights on in the bedroom and kisses goodnight. needless to say, coming back to roanoke the afternoon after moving Joe proved to be fairly difficult as i sit on the middle cushion of the couch with no one poking me to move over.

I have been in Roanoke just over 7 months and I am already feeling the effects of living the solo life until we are all situated with the big move up to Massachusetts. Sure, there are some perks like getting to buy my favorites at the grocery store or not having to worry about the silly little chores that living with another person include however, i can honestly say... i feel a little lost without my crew. i actually miss henry banging into my knee with his bone, gibson getting hair all over the couch and joe making fun of Chopped on the Food Network from the kitchen. 

with all of the heartache that comes from the transition and getting things settled over the next few months it makes me so much more thankful for what i have and who i share my time with. it also makes me realize even further how difficult it must be for those that lose someone they spent every waking moment with day in and day out. sure, i've spent close to 5 years in a relationship however only 9 months of the time have we actually been able to see each other and experience the company of one another throughout the normal work week or fun filled weekend.

as i sit here anxious about this empty house, i can only think how hard it must be for others who suddenly lose the ones they love and have spent 20, 30 or 60 years of their life with day in and day out. it's a reminder that life is short and you just never know what you may come home too after a long day at work. it's a reminder that what you know as routine which therefore provides you with a sense of security could all one day be gone. it makes the little things a little bit more memorable and the big things much easier to miss.

i am excited for what is ahead, for what the summer may bring, then the fall and ultimately the "harsh winters" have in store for us up in Mass. but i'll tell ya what - being back with my boys, makes it already feel like home.

+previously written

the coffee shops...

there is something special about small, fun, quirky and independently owned coffee shops. i love them. every single place that i visit, stay, live or simply wander through, i have to hit the local coffee shop.

in Carolina it was Carolina Cafe, and every time i go back... i realize that the secret must be out. the place is always packed, especially on a Sunday after the Gamecocks play (win) at home. the place has homemade everything and is always delicious. my favorites have to be the breakfast bagel sandwich, the chocolate milk and the iced coffee - all perfect for a hangover or the perfect food in tote for a stroll on the horseshoe.

then there was Norfolk - Borjo... oh how i miss Borjo! the scones were out of this world, the cinnamon buns were bigger than my face, the local art was always a conversation starter oh and after five they served drinks... yep. fact. the chicken salad was amazing and the best part...it was literally ten steps from my work. Oh and the coffee! the coffee was some of the best....nothing crazy however, their ice... their iced was crushed and what could be better than an afternoon walk down Monarch Way with a cold, crushed iced coffee? the answer is nothing. I miss Borjo, but I actually miss the company I kept at Borjo more.

next up, tampa... tampa kinnnndaaaa sucked when it came to coffee shops. i was pretty bummed to find no local stops, no local favorites or have to hit spots in the AM. however, for what it is worth my love of Panera came from Tampa. they knew my name, they knew how to toast my bagel and their coffee came with free refills. so, i'll take it. nothing special, but panera - i love you anyway.

now, Roanoke...Roanoke is a special kind of place. it's artsy, it's eccentric and better yet you're still in the south so expect that southern hospitality with well, let's call it "liberal flair".... i love it. Roanoke is home to two favorites... Mill Mountain and Cups. Now, Mill Mountain seems to be a staple in the region with a few locations and an ever changing coffee selection and standard sweets and samples to cure any hangover. The specialty drinks may be priced a little higher but that never stopped Joe from going all in with the Carmel, Mocha, whatever... for me it was the coffee. plain. hot. coffee. with cinnamon please. ;) then you have CUPS. cups is special to me. it's in the center of historic Grandin Village and it's slogan is "my other office is CUPS"... how cool, right? It's got hilarious owners, ever changing local artwork, comfy couches, tables made from old VHS tapes and plenty of drinks to choose from. Oh and bring your own cup, store it here and they will keep it clean and waiting for you.... how awesome, right? and don't forget - the wifi, free! it's a perfect coffee shop, in a perfect little town.

I can't wait for my next coffee shop love affair and from what i hear, there are going to be a quite a few to choose from. so, look out Amherst, a new local is coming to town! oh and for what it's worth....if I had a coffee shop full of everything awesome, it would without a doubt be called "The little bean"... um, how awesome? maybe one day...

"not all those who wander are lost"

Serendipity... maybe this is just that. Maybe this is something that will become something bigger... you know the "big one", the "life changer"... (yea yea, as if i haven't had enough of those.) Oh, right... sorry... you're probably asking what is the "this"? what is the thing that may cause for another shake up on the shaken never stirred life that I lead?

well, it involves boxes and paying $1.00 online to the United States Postal Service. it involves dropping off cable boxes and picking up plenty of tape. it involves gas, plenty of red bull and maybe some combos, at least for me it does. it involves paper cuts and even a few bruises on the hips from door propping and car door slamming. i'm gonna assume you've gotten it by now...

Ding! Ding! Ding! yes, i am moving. actually, scratch that, WE are moving... sure, it wouldn't be in Sara fashion if it wasn't as complicated as one of us moves right away (as in...tomorrow) and the other waits a solid 3 months or so however, yes, WE are moving.

So where you ask? Where too now? I'll get to that... but first, let me in the very least try and bury the negativity. For me, that goes something like this;

I get it... I have moved a lot. I have moved to college (oh and for what it's worth, that shouldn't count - and quiet honestly... if my wallet would have allowed it - I would have never moved anywhere else). I have moved to Norfolk. need I discuss the plentiful joys of a first apartment, a first job, a first paycheck? No? okay, good. (ironically though, i miss the heck out of that place) Then there was Tampa - talk about sunshine and beaches... well except the beach was an hour away and the sunshine just proved to be...well, too hot. So, thank God for a best friend and a puppy, making Tampa not all that bad after all. Which finally brings us to Roanoke... the real switch up. the shaken not stirred switch up. so, sure... i've moved but...after it all, i'm okay with it.  (i'm okay with it as long as you don't ask me if i'm okay with it when i'm having a melt down about all the moving.)

Through these moves i have discovered a few things. The first being that when i am not in control... i simply lose control. plain and simple. no reading between the lines here. when i am not the one making the plans to move or taping up the boxes, i literally lose my mind. call my crazy all you want, but being in control is a luxury that i intend to try to keep. this for me is actually kind of funny, considering i love the idealistic concept of the "serendipitous" act however it becomes fairly difficult for me to just trust that what is meant to happen, will do just that...

With all of this moving i find myself simply searching for a sense of stability. but that's okay, right? (it better be) i've come to believe that stability isn't just something that makes one feel "comfortable" but yet learning to breath it all in and trust that you're where you should be once you breathe it all out. this takes time... and i'm also okay with that too. stability then becomes a choice (que being in control) and well, i like being in enjoy control. sure, i may not be going about it the easiest way possible, or maybe as fast as other would expect but i do think that i'm doin' alright figuring it out along the way. I think that all of this bouncing around has contributed to who I am today and perhaps a little bit nuts, but thankfully now I am that much more aware of what it's like to hit some bumps and know how to keep the car in drive. and also for what it's worth, i have found that a relationship like mine and joe's speaks volumes about making it through tough conversations, slow and steady timelines and a constantly evolving ideas of what it means to be truly madly in love. ours is not picture perfect, but it is ours and i love it.

Sure, I know that i am not the best back seat driver... i'm not even close to being comfortable with being in the backseat but i do know that with the love and support of friends and family alike, the search for stability within the constantly changing nature of life that it's all going to be just fine. and yes, maybe Charleston SC isn't in the game plan right now, or maybe being the DOM within a big company isn't the best fit, but mark my words, being in control of something that may seem to others as being out of control, isn't easy, but it isn't impossible either. i'd like to think that i am a spitting image of someone who may not have it all figured out at 25, but you better bet it's a real fun ride and it certainly doesn't mean i got off at the wrong exit.

So, what's next? or better yet, where's next? well...Amherst, Massachusetts, that's where. que the "it's so cold!" and the "omg. wow. congrats? but you just moved?!".  i'm confident that Amherst will provide a lot of stability, be a little bit more comfortable and will bestow plenty of experiences for the memory bank. i'm pretty excited about settling down in New England for a while, getting a job i love and decorating our first real little home. Amherst may not be our "forever" but it is our "first" and that is pretty damn awesome. i'd like to also think i know a little bit about experiencing things with the ones you love versus solo and I can easily say that I'd much rather do the experiencing with Joe, Henry and Gib by my side and family only a few hours down the road. so sure, it might not look that great to others, and it may be easily disconcerting... but, in an attempt to live and love a lot, i've lost a little control and it's going to be just fine.

oh and i'll take any hunter boots, adorable jackets, vineyard vines sweatshirts or preppy jewelry you'd like to send my way :) helllloooo New England! ;) i may be a southern girl at heart, but getting to experience a college town with a preppy flair for a while i'm sure never hurt anyone.

Goodnight Prayers

Every night before I fall asleep I try and say my goodnight prayers. They usually go in the order of Praise, Repent, Anyone, You (PRAY). A little trick an old friend taught me years ago in an effort to provide some direction about "how to pray". Now, years later...I try every night to p.r.a.y. however it's from days like today and from coffee at 5 PM that never allows a mind to settle and a prayer to finish silently leading to a soundless sleep. So, now... I sit. Snores up the hall, lights on in the bathroom and a fire smoldering as it fades...

If I were able to actually say my good night prayers tonight...they'd go something like this;

I praise God for the blessings I have, the family that keeps me sane and the health of myself and the loved ones I cherish. I'm thankful that Pop is home from the hospital and that I've had a blessed weekend thus far with friends and family. I praise God for safe travels for my Dad no matter where he goes and a strong willed Mom through tough times and such positive vibes a brother could ever provide. I'd then pray for forgiveness for being slightly too judgmental, stressed out and negative. I'd ask that I have more patience and take more deep breaths. Then, I'd pray long and hard for my Nan and family dealing with the everyday loss of a Husband, Dad and grandfather. I'd pray for smiles and safety for a best friend hundreds of miles away and for the health and happiness of family and friends alike, no matter where they are. Then, last but not least I'd pray for a safe rest of the weekend, a smooth drive home and an even better week ahead. I'd finish with an Amen and hopefully drift to sleep.

However, like I said before...coffee too late, good music and loud firecrackers next door make that a little tough so...here I sit and reflect just a little bit on what's behind me, what I have and what is  ahead. Life can be a tricky place and absolutely full of headaches and heartache but I can only hope that each good nights prayers bring positive energy and plenty of blessings to me and mine all the sleepless nights ahead.

a shift

there are plenty of shifts that take place in one's life. like the shift from being a little girl that turns into a bratty teenager, the shift from spending 4 years in college to suddenly being on your own trying to pay the bills, or the "simple" shift from one job to the other. there are the shifts in life that happen slowly and expectantly however, there are other shifts in life that happen suddenly. they happen at a specific moment.

they rocked you to sleep, they dressed you for school in the mornings and helped with homework at night. they visited colleges with you or bought you your first car or even walked you down the aisle. then, in one day, hour or even a moment... a shift occurs. i find that it is the specific moment in time where the child, the daughter or even the son becomes the caretaker; the "parent" and carries the responsibility of providing security, uninhibited love and unwavering support. the kid becomes the one looking for the monsters under the bed for those that did just the same for them years and years ago.

a role reversal - a shift.

i remember my grandmother telling me about how she would brush her moms hair, and i have listened to how my mom would give my grandfather warm soup and crackers for dinner. that is the shift.

it is when the realization is had that your mom or dad are not going to be the ones to pick you up after you fall down on the driveway and kiss away the boo boo from a scraped knee. it is that first instance when you become the one to make it better for those that once made everything better for you... a shift in the role, now the caretaker...now the one in the drivers seat.

life is short however, no matter how or when the shift happens, i am confident that there will be someone to provide the comforting scratch on the back or kiss on the top of the head to let the other know everything is going to be okay, a single promise but a strong one at that.  

more importantly, i commend those who have experienced this shift and who have not only lived with it but lived through it. i commend those that find humor in life's shifts and can look to the heavens and praise every single little blessing along the way. 

sure, some shifts are harder than others but those that have been taught well, those that have had the best role models along all of their own life events...these will be the ones that handle the role reversals ahead with the most grace and patience.

so, thank you to those who have taught their own to be the best they can be...for one day, they'll make theirs feel safe and sound and surround them with shatterproof love, because after all... they are now the ones that in just a moments time, need it the most.

 

It's monday already?

Thankfully I don't have to complain much about the weather anymore. I don't have to walk out of my apartment to wet air and foggy glasses. I don't miss the days where sitting at the pool became almost a chore and any trip in a car was pretty miserable until about 10 minutes in when the AC finally started to work. Thankfully, it's almost fall in VA and that is a pretty sweet thing.

This weekend may not have really felt like fall with an 85 degree average but that's nothing some mums, hay and driving with the windows down can't fix (especially in a shiny new car). This weekend was one for the books. Both relaxing and full of laughs. Next weekend will deliver just the same I'm sure with a visit from the Dolans.. woop woop!

Just one word of advice, don't see gravity in 3D if you're easily made nauseous. Thank me later.

 

 

 

Happy Monday!