solo

i have gotten good at being solo. living solo, singing solo, driving solo, cooking solo, shopping solo and sleeping solo. working for global is a lot like being in the army...sure i am not in harms way, nor am i sacrificing my life for my country..BUT, i do move a lot and i have gotten good at well, being solo. hence, army. kinda? well.. i think so anyway.

this is a recent thing of mine too.. so when people ask me where i work and what i do, i tell him "i work for a company that manages facilities... i market shows, and well..its kinda like the army."

i mean, think about it.. i have lived in a lot of places for being 23. that whole home body shit went out the window when i decided to go to SC, which is fine by me...but hell...three states in 4 years?!

 so...like i said before i have gotten good at being solo. now, what solo means when you actually have friends, actually have a boyfriend and actually have a family that misses you can be a little, uh, boring...but.. needless to say, i think it's worth it..it better be.

My favorite things to do solo are the following:
1. Take pictures
2. Hot showers followed by painting my nails (so girly i know)
3. Shop - however, i love shopping period.
4. Decorating
5. Driving with the windows down and the music LOUD
6. Reading
7. Watching SATC (figure it out)

brutal

when you think about your adolescence you think about how crazy and or ridiculous you were. well, at least i do.  you think about how you were dis-respectful to your parents you were, how you wore absolutely horrible clothing (and thought you looked good - how that is possible i still can't figure out) and the occasional relationship you had, good or bad. for me... its slightly well, scattered?

sure, plenty of boys all harmless, plenty of bad outfits, and a lot of hit or misses. regardless it made me realize when you are younger  how REAL everything seems. there wasn't a day that went by that i didn't take myself too seriously. i was wound up then, which means i am even more wound up now and i had stress then which seems absolutely ridiculous now that i think about it, and well.. relationships then, should have been easy, because now a days, well, they aren't. friendships and boyships alike. yes, boyships.

i think about my brother, totally carefree..however stressed tendencies tendencies may be an understatement.. so hell, i'll blame it on my parents... isn't that the right thing to do? he has had his lovely girlfriend for, oh, i don't know... 9 years maybe? precious right? i think so too...however, not to diminish the reality of that relationship, but for some reason i think, well i think they think that its a match made in heaven, probably just like every other HS relationship we had along the way... which brings me to my next point..

HS sweethearts do exist... example, my parents went to HS together, met, married, had a family. perfect. right? so if that is not a good example i don't know what is...but when you are out of HS, ya know... in the real world, how could you have possibly thought that it would have worked?  how could you have possibly thought THAT was what was right? i feel like in HS or even shortly thereafter your skewed. your ambitions are set too the wind, not necessarily a bad thing but none the less are well, scattered. 

so cheers to those who made it, and cheers to those who didn't because it is different strokes for different folks... and whether your 17 and head over heels, or 24 dazed and confused it's all just as real, and well.. very very relative. 

And I hope the sun shines
And it's a beautiful day
And something reminds you
You wish you had stayed
You can plan for a change in weather and time
But I never planned on you changing your mind

So I'll go sit on the floor
Wearing your clothes
All that I know is
I don't know how to be something you miss
Never thought we'd have a last kiss
Never imagined we'd end like this
Your name, forever the name on my lips

Just like our last kiss
Forever the name on my lips
Forever the name on my lips

Just like our last...

T. Swift

 

paperweight

when you get to your 20's i think most people want to have it all figured out. (now if you're in your thirties, forties or even fifties and reading... don't laugh, because chances are you may have thought the same..and well.. do you have it figured out yet?) i am one of those people. i want to know where i'll be in 3 years, 10 years let alone next year. i want to know where i'll live, and who i'll meet. i want to know if i'll be a gamecock season ticket holder, or have a condo on the beach... all things that would be nice to say are mine. but, more importantly i want to know where i'll be living, where i'll  be working, and if i will be happy. i want to know who i'll be surrounded by and at what age i can look around and say... okay, i got this thing figured out.

but....who doesn't?

i've decided a few things... there are a lot of friends who have it all figured out. have the path that they have chosen, have picked out the keys and the paint and have called it a day... i'm happy for them and slightly jealous. i have other friends, similar to myself who work work and work...now, at 24... i ask, is that what it's all about? working and just "figuring it out" along the way... sure, it seems to be the case, but that isn't all that fun when your best friends are scattered across the US, the family is 12 hours north and the boo is a plane ride away. so, what's next?

well.. i'll tell ya; a visit, a ribbon cutting, a visit, an open house, another open house, a visit, a work conference and maybe another visit if we are lucky down the road.. so shit, can a girl get some consistency? one can only hope..so to those that have it figured out with the cute condo, the dog and the decor i admire. and to the ones like myself... guess we'll just have to figure it out. all i know is that a little serendipitous hints along the way may be in order. it can be a little tiring but i assume it's all part of the game... and getting a head of myself seems to be standard.

MAM

it is my favorite time of year... maybe because i love sc, or maybe bc i love hootie. maybe because i love the company or simply because shotgunning beers on a golf course is way more fun than anywhere else...regardless i love MAM. 
by mam, i am referring to Monday After the Masters Pro Am. 


A few things:
1. It is embarrassing to have your phone ring while talking to Soni and Mark, yet alone have the ring tone be "Get Outta My Head" - Hootie. FAIL.
2. Always plan on leaving MAM with a few bruises and or cuts... this year, hip x 2, knee, and hands. perfect.
3. sleep is over rated.
4. Mich Ultra IS just that good.
5. Band members are always going to be late...even after plenty of "friendly reminder texts" while acting as publicist for the weekend... insert crazed Sara. 

here is the link: www.hootiegolf.com

and here are the pics:

my boo scotty poo..good times stud.

Mike and Mike.. good dudes, bad golfers.

Blurry, but at that point...we all were. LOVE.

yes, yes...good style, good smiles.

D.Ruck - THE bag of the hour.

Nothing sweeter than a Carolina sunrise on a Carolina course

MAM 2013, here i come!

Saturday

Aside from needing some company, my Saturday in the rain looks something like this...

calm

what makes you feel calm? for me... it's something i literally just found out about 8 minutes ago. ready?

i made dinner... good ole sweet potato tots and some popcorn chicken. anyway, after eating and carelessly throwing the trash away i sat down on my couch. no tv. no lights. one candle. i just sat there. i leaned back, and looked straight ahead and took a deep breath (my sign told me too) and well..i was calm. now, a side note... i had a mint choc chip ice cream sandwich in my hand, and yes, it's low fat. but regardless, i was calm.

this means a lot for some one who for the past week has been nuts regarding work. big event, big media and big pressure... so on a Thursday evening with one more day ahead it was nice to take a breath and well, breathe.

it has always been interesting to me the minds sense of stream of consciousness. how, really, we have no control over what we think, how we think it, and when we are thinking. sure, the point is to be able to control how we act on those thoughts...but it is things like this that tend to lead to the opposite of being calm. its either you have your mind going this way, your heart another or your head up and your stomach down. it is a fact of life that your brain will continue to work long after you've slipped into a dream or a more "calm" being. tiring right? i think so too.

but, being calm is more than a state of mind. it's a physical state as well. hearing yourself think tends to lead to anxiety. but for me, just then...there was none. and that, well that was a first.

the shack

i finished. The Shack. highly recommended, and not for the weary of mind. i am not a quick reader, and i tend to like a casual read.. these things however are not what you get with this book. this is a paperback that allows you to question your perception on life, your perception of reality, and perception more importantly of religion. it subtly advises one to break the mold and the guidelines or rules that come with it. it allows one to understand that with tragedy comes forgiveness. its delicate, and incredibly intricate. it speaks of light, color, beauty and imposes questions and considerations one otherwise would not realize exist. so, i give it a thumbs up, and an absolute must read...