so now what?

decisions are tough to make when you are an adult. they propose difficult conversations, followed by difficult silences.

what is it about getting older that removes the idea of being carefree? what is it about being older where suddenly things are much harder and people are much less likely to risk falling backwards, ultimately trusting that they would be caught. when is the switch? at what moment does it flip?

what is it about letting go of the "what ifs" and the "i wonders" which ultimately stunt your growth? sure, you still grow and learn...but what is it about being older that holds us back from attacking what we want with vigor and passion? why is it so hard to steer your own ship and set sail to where you know you want to be?

maybe it is just the wobbly spot, or maybe it is a lack of a spiritual relationship that seems to guide so many? maybe it is lack of control and the anxiety that follows? maybe it is the simple state of fear?
fear of the unknown, fear of letting others down, fear of letting yourself down and ultimately, the fear of failure.

what is it about being young, dumb and in love, yet guarded and in the corner of the ring anticipating the big hit? ....you know; the knockout.

i did a brainstorm at work the other day... we threw around a big ball with questions on them. whatever question your thumb landed on you needed to answer. simple right? 

my question; what is the best age? 

first off, i simply laughed upon catching because after all, i was the one that thought of this exercise in the first place. i anxiously awaited in hopes someone would answer this question to provide some "wiser" insight. welp, so much for that thought...regardless, the best answer didn't come from me. it afterwards came from a co-worker. she said, 10 years old. "at 10 years old you are carefree, you are stress-less and you don't know responsibility." pretty good i thought... however, i would have said 35. i say that because you have made a name for yourself professionally, you are comfortable with your mistakes and you have grown from them. you own something whether it is a house, a car, or a really really really nice bag and at 35 you're closer to having it figured out. you're closer to being able to say "when i was your age" versus "i can sympathize". point is, you did it. as an independent woman, you. did. it. 

in so many words i'm sure the post is no different than a few of my others but the concept still remains and well, time is ticking.